Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas everyone!!!!
Hope you got to spend it with your family. I did.
An update on our adoption. We have finished our dossier. It will now be sent to DRC to be translated and then filed in the courts. It is slow, but we are making progress. I can't wait for Nathaniel to come home.
Speaking of Nathaniel, we have decided to changed his American name. We originally were going to call him Nathaniel James, but after watching some adoption education DVDs, we have decided to keep his original name,Gabriel,as his middle name. So his new American name will be Nathaniel Gabriel.

My mother has made a stocking for everyone in our family over the years. She made one for Nathaniel this year. I hope next year he will be able to enjoy it next year.

My husband bought me a necklace for Christmas with the names and birthstones of ALL my children, including Nathaniel. I LOVE IT!!!!!

My computer is messing up so I can't post the pictures. I might try again later.

Blessings,
Melissa

Orphan Sunday 2013

Today is Orphan Sunday. A lot has changed since this day last year. Last year I wondered who and where our new child was. But this year we know who our child is. He is a beautiful, sweet baby boy that we have named Nathaniel. And we know where he is. He is in an orphanage in Kinshasa, DRC.

But some things are the same. We still don't know when he will be home. I still wonder how he is. Is he safe? I still wonder, do think about your new Mommy? I think about you all the time. Even though we have not met you, Daddy and I love you already. WE can't wait until you are home with us. Desiree asked just this morning if you were flying from Africa yet. She wants you home too.

Nathaniel has found his forever family and we have found the baby we have longed for, but my heart goes out to all the other millions of orphans that have not yet found theirs. I know that God has not called everyone to adopt, but I think that many more could. If you are thinking about adoption, I encourage you to go for it. There are so many children waiting.

Blessings,
Melissa

Prayer Needed

Well we have had an eventful week here.

I had yet another bout of diverticulitis. I went to bed last Tuesday night with some discomfort. By 2 am I was in tremendous pain. I woke David up with my crying. I went to the doctor Wednesday and got 2 antibiotics and some pain killers. By Friday I was fine.

My niece Sarah got married Friday. Desiree was the flower girl. She had a blast.

Speaking of Desiree, she has been saying that when she gets older she will live with her dad. I asked her who told her that and she said her father. If you ask her if she wants to live with him, she will tell you yes, she does. And why wouldn't she? She can have anything she wants. He never tells her no; about anything! If she wants ice cream for breakfast he lets her have it. What kid wouldn't want that?
But on an unconscious level she is terrified. She has been having dreams of me leaving her. She now has to sleep with the lamp on. She cries when I put her to bed at night now. I can't even leave her in the nursery any more because she is afraid that I won't come back.
So David and I have decided to get full custody of her. We want her to have a strong sense of security and permanence. Our daughter, Desiree's mother, is 100% in support of us. Her father has said that he will sign the papers, but he hasn't yet. I hope he does the right thing and thinks of her more than himself. If he doesn't then we go to court.

We received some bad news about our adoption of Nathaniel. The DRC has suspended all exit visas for adopted children. The exit visa is the very last piece of paperwork in the adoption process for DRC. Without it even a legally adopted child cannot leave the country. They have said this could last for up to 12 months. I am praying that they will reverse there decision quickly.
This stems from an article about internationally adopted children that were "re-homed" after they were brought to the US. The article stated that adoptive parents would list their child on websites and give them away to virtual strangers who had not gone through the rigorous background checks that adoptive parents go through. Many of these children were abused.
I agree that this is a horrible situation, but it is a very small percentage of adoptions and the article does not tell of all of the wonderful adoption stories that exist. And the children living in orphanages are not immune to abuse. I ask for your prayers; that the suspension will be over quickly and for Nathaniel's safety.

Blessings,
Melissa

What we have been up to lately

Well a lot has happened since my last entry. We received our placement agreement which means that we are officially matched with Nathaniel. Our home study is FINALLY finished and has been approved by the GA office. Now we are waiting for it to be approved by the corporate office. We have begun gathering the documents for our dossier.
We got a loan to pay for some of the fees that are currently due. We were quite surprised that we were approved for it since our credit is not so good. And David cashed out his 401K to pay for the rest of the fees that are currently due. So we are no longer in danger of loosing him!!!
We also had a spaghetti supper fundraiser at our church. It was a lot of work, but we had some really great people helping us. Between ticket sales and donations we raised $1,800. So grateful for our church! They have been so supportive through this whole process.

AS I had mentioned in a previous post, Desiree broke her leg and had rods put in to help it heal. She had the rods removed on August 8th. Everything went well. We were given the rods as a souvenir. She was up walking around in about 3 days. So thankful that we are done with this whole thing.

School has started again. Brandon is in 9th grade. Can't believe my baby is in high school. Desiree is doing great with school. She loves it.

Even though we have MONTHS to wait until Nathaniel comes home, I have been in a nesting mood. I have been wanting to get the house ready for him. So we rearranged Desi's room and set up the crib.

This is Nathaniel's side of the room. We did it in Winnie the Pooh.

And this is Desiree's side. She wanted her side decorated in Princesses because, you know, she IS a princess.

I think I have gotten you up to date on everything here.

Blessings,
Melissa

A few thoughts....

I have a lot on my mind today. We received an email from JOH on Friday with the formal placement agreement. When we sign it, have it notarized, and mail it back, Nathaniel will be officially matched with us.WOOHOO!!!!!

Which brings me to my next thought. I have had a couple of people say to me that 'maybe we aren't meant' to have this baby because we have had so much trouble getting the money. Oh it burns me up! If a woman tried for 7 years to get pregnant and then finally does but is in danger of loosing that baby, would you tell her that 'maybe she wasn't meant' to have this baby because she is having trouble and she should let it go? I don't think so, or at least, I hope no one would be that insensitive. I don't see where my situation is any different. We have tried to adopt for 7 years and finally have been matched with a child. Of course I am going to do everything in my power to bring him home! No, I don't enjoy having to ask people for money, but I will do anything and everything I can to bring him home to his family!

I guess it goes back to people not understanding adoption. I LOVE this boy. He is my son in my heart even though I have never met him. When a woman is pregnant, she doesn't actually see or hold her baby for 9 months, yet everyone knows that it is natural for her to love her child even before it's born. My situation is no different. I love Nathaniel.

The other thing I was thinking this morning is about how Nathaniel was abandoned. His birth mother,for whatever reason, felt that she couldn't raise him. But instead of just throwing him away, she put him in the marketplace; a busy area that I think she knew he would be found.I believe it was an act of love. This reminded me of the story of Moses. His parents couldn't keep him, but because they loved him, they put him in the Nile River; a busy place where they knew he would be found.

I am not saying that God has a super spiritual purpose for Nathaniel like He did for Moses. But He must have a purpose for Nathaniel and for us because He put us together. And I thank him for it!

Blessings,
Melissa

So you're friend is adopting.....

Dear Friends of Waiting Adoptive Moms: Some Things To Know by the author at Wondermentetc.com

1. Your friend is not crazy. (She is adopting.)

There is, I will admit, a fine line between those two but still it’s good to remember. The international adoption of a child requires enough paperwork to kill a small forest. And more governmental red tape than you can believe. Imagine your longest, most frustrating trip to the DMV. Now quadruple that, add in twelve more governmental agencies in two countries, and remember it’s not a driver’s license you’re waiting for but the final piece of paper that says this family you’re creating can finally, finally be together. Yeah. Not crazy. But close.

2. She loves a child she’s never met.

It’s possible. So possible. It’s irrational and crazy but it’s reality. Does she love them like she will once she gets to know them? No. But she loves them. She wakes up loving them and goes to sleep loving them. She drives to the grocery story and aches to have them safe and snug in the carseat waiting for them. She pushes her cart around the store and hears a child cry and her heart pounds wondering if her child is crying? Alone? Hungry? She might even have to leave an entire grocery cart full of food in the yogurt aisle to go home and cry because it just is too hard. Way too hard.

3. It’s difficult having your heart on the other side of the world.

To people on the outside they don’t look like our kids, on paper they might not be our kids yet. But in our hearts we love these children like they are and yet we’re not together. We’re moms without children. It’s an ache that doesn’t go away. It starts before we see their faces and only ends when they’re in our arms. So we walk about with half our heart missing. It’s hard to breathe, to think, to speak. Something always feels missing. Because they are.

4. She is addicted to her email.

It’s okay. This is a temporary condition and most make a full recovery. It can be diagnosed by refusal to allow separation from her smart phone, or glassy-eyed concentration as she clicks “refresh” over and over and over on her computer. Other signs may include: waking up in the middle of the night to check because it’s X time over there, and muttering aloud “must get home, must check for update, must get home” while out in public.

5. Her child has been through trauma.

If she’s like a lot of moms she won’t be advertising that fact everywhere because she respects her child’s privacy. But children don’t come to the place of needing a second family because they were placed in a cabbage patch by unicorns and leprechauns. Adoption comes from loss. Loss she will see in her child’s eyes and in their heart. Loss that as a mama can make your soul curl up in a ball for an ugly cry. So don’t tell her the kids are lucky. You wouldn’t tell a person who lost an arm that they’re lucky to have a prosthetic one would you? I mean yeah, they are lucky to have that replacement. But you know what would be luckier? Not losing that arm in the first place. So please be understanding. Also, maybe instead of asking for her child’s story outright ask “are you sharing about his history before you?” That gives her a chance to either answer you or bow out graciously.

6. Adoption isn’t pregnancy.

It just isn’t. Well, it is in that at the end of it the hope is to have a new son or daughter in your arms. But I’ve yet to meet a pregnant woman who wonders how old her child will be upon entry into the family. Adoption is different. There is no due date for us. Let that sink in. No due date. And even given preemies and late arrivals with the baby by stork method you have a narrow months-long window of time in which the baby will arrive. That brings us to point number seven.

7. She probably doesn’t know when the child is coming home.

And she has probably been asked this approximately twelve times that day. Because you, her awesome friends, care about her! (And also you secretly worry she’s going a little nuts, see point #1.) And I get it. It’s hard with adoption because you don’t know what to ask. I feel that way with pregnant ladies, like what am I supposed to say? “Your ankles really don’t look that bad do they?” Recently I learned the always safe phrase “you look great – how is baby doing?”, the adoption equivalent is “I know you must miss your kiddos, how is the adoption going?” Or, if you don’t have time to have her break down and cry all over you try the even safer “can I see your latest update pictures?” and then ooh and aww over their cute faces. Even if the pictures are horrible say something positive. I mean I don’t tell people that their sonogram pictures sometimes look like aliens made of bread dough. (Except yours Amy B. Yours is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.)

8. She isn’t sure they’re coming home.

This is the part of the adoption process that makes you want to crawl under your bed and not come out until it’s safe again. This is the part that tears you soul in two. This is the part that you wake up in the morning remembering and going to bed at night fearing. Because there are no guarantees. And that’s hard. No, not hard. It’s gut-wrenching. It’s not just the fear that your child might die before having a family, it’s that this child you love with every ounce of your being might grow up in an orphanage, on the streets, or worse.

9. Your friend is kind of stupid.

I know. That’s harsh. But it’s true. You try operating on a daily basis with only half your heart and half your brain, because that’s what it’s like. ‘Cause they other half of you is wrapped up in a tiny person who is half a world and what feels like a lifetime away. Also, because of the time zone difference it means that half of you is awake pretty much all the time.

10. She doesn’t need to hear your HAS (horrible adoption stories.)

Yes, I know, everyone knows of someone’s uncle’s neighbor who adopted a child and then the child burned down the school with the power of her mind after her classmates dumped a bucket of pigs blood on her. (Oh wait, that’s the storyline of “Carrie” isn’t it?) But sharing these stories are the equivalent of telling someone hopping in a plane for their first sky-diving session “I watched this video on youtube where a guy skydived. He died. And his body was all smashed and stuff.” Maybe it’s true but it’s also not overly helpful. Unless you’re the kind of person who also goes up to pregnant woman and says “I read a book about this lady who got pregnant one time, she gave birth to a kid who became a serial killer and sewed a suit of clothes out of his victims skin. (Shoot, that’s the storyline of “Hannibal” isn’t it? Well, I tried.)

Do “Adoptive Kids” sometimes grow up and do horrible thing? Yep. You know who else grows up and does horrible things? “Vaginal kids.” So really, the warning should be more along these lines: “You’re going to be a parent huh? Good luck with that.”

11. She has probably done her research

Don’t assume she’s going into this because of a driving urge to be mistaken for Angelina Jolie. Unless she is also demanding everyone call her husband “Brad” it probably comes from some deeper place. Or you know, her husband’s name really IS Brad. Chances are she’s read books on adoptive parenting, has agonized for hours over which adoption agency to choose from. Made a decision. Then agonized some more. She’s thought about the ethical questions. And if you don’t think she has then maybe ask. “How did you pick your agency?” “What led you to X country?”

12. She looks brave on the outside, she’s brave on the inside too. But she’s also a mess

Which, I think is what mothering and loving is all about. Being a mess. Throwing your love out there and not knowing if you’re ever going to get it back. It’s scary. It’s vulnerable. It feels like you can’t breathe and when you can it hurts to do it. And you don’t want to complain about that because you picked it. So you pick up the pieces of your heart and you keep going. You keep going because at the end of the day what you go through as an adoptive mother is nothing compared to what children go through when they live their life without family. And that’s what this journey is all about.

My friend sent this to me and I thought it described me to a tee.

Blessings, Melissa

New pictures

We have new pictures of Nathaniel.
Ain't he cute?!

Funny Video

I saw this video and thought it was hilarious! Hope you enjoy!

Have a great day.

Blessings,
Melissa

Newspaper follow up

Last November, our local newspaper wrote a story about our adoption journey. They are doing a follow up story this week. We listed our gofundme page and hopefully someone will donate something.

Blessings,
Melissa

Little Pink Pup

The other night I was reading a bedtime story to Desiree called Little Pink Pup. Its about a runt piglet that is nursed and raised by a dachshund who is foster mom to several other puppies. As we were looking at the pictures, I commented that the doggy mommy had lots of brown babies and one pink one. I said that families don't have to look alike in order to love each other. I told her that when Nathaniel comes home we will have lots of pink people and one brown one. She said that Nathaniel has no mommy or daddy, no family and no home. She said that we will be his family and this will be his home and we will love him. I asked her what it is called when a child who has no family comes to live with a new family. She said ADOPTION!

If you would like to help bring Nathaniel home to his family, please visit our donation page. The link is at the top of this page on the right.

Thank you.

Blessings,
Melissa

Adoption Video

http://youtu.be/Ra2JZevSZ6g

Donation site

http://www.gofundme.com/3l7pfg

We have created a page where anyone who wants to can donate money to help us bring Nathaniel home.

Blessings,
Melissa

We Might Loose Him

PRAYER

We need prayer. The grant we thought we had, turns out we don't have. We have to reapply. But we have some serious money due very quickly or we could loose the baby. PLEASE PRAY!!!!!!!!!!

Blessings,
Melissa

Announcements

We announced to our church the news about Nathaniel today. David, Brandon and myself created a power point presentation. It started out by us talking abut the number of orphans in the world. And then the number of orphans in Africa. And then the number of orphans in DRC. We talked about how DRC was a beautiful country, but it was ravaged by war. And that it is one of the poorest countries in the world. Then we said but there is hope and showed James 1:27.
Then we said that there is one less orphan in DRC because.... (Here we had a picture of Nathaniel.) He will soon be adopted by... US!!!!( Here we had a picture of ourselves.) At this point everyone starts clapping.
After church I got hugs from many of the ladies congratulating me. My heart swelled with joy.

After church we had a family dinner at my mother's house. I announced to all of my brothers and their wives about Nathaniel and let Desi pass around a picture of him. One of my brothers asked Desi who the picture was of and she said "our baby".  I was so proud. Most of my family were very happy for us and very supportive, but there was one comment that annoyed me. One of my brothers asked " Aren't there enough kids in the country to adopt?" My answer was, " We tried for 6 years to adopt from this country." I was shocked by his question and didn't know quite what to say. Now that I have had time to think about it, what I should have said is, " Yes there are children in this country to adopt and we tried that. But God had another plan for us. He put a longing in our hearts for Africa. He has always known who was meant to be our child and that child was in Africa."

Blessings,
Melissa

Great News!!!!!!!!!

Well we waited and God has moved. After reviewing all our options, we decided to take our home study and go to a new agency. We moved to Journeys of the Heart and joined their Democratic Republic of Congo or DRC program. And we have been matched with a 3 month old baby boy!

After 7 looong hard agonizing years, we FINALLY have a child waiting for us!!!!!!!! Thank you God for your faithfulness even when I am not.

 It will take another 6 months to a year to bring him home, but at least we can see what we are working so hard for. It has been a long hard journey, but God's plans and timing are always perfect. Still don't have all the money we need to complete this adoption, but I am trusting God will provide.

Blessings,

Melissa

Nathaniel James

Christ- Like Love

I recieved a notification from our agency today about a little 7 year old girl who needs a family.

Its seems this little girl has severe disabilities and her single father can no longer take care of her needs.
He brought her to the orphanage today to have her adopted.
He could have simply brought her to the orphanage to live so that she could recieve medical care, food, shelter and schooling. But he wanted her to have a family that loves her, so he chose to put his own feelings aside and do what was best for his beloved child. I am sure his heart must have been breaking when he signed away his rights to her, knowing he will probably never see her again once she is adopted, but he put her first. I applaud this father. This is true love. This is Christ-like love; sacrificial love.

This story touched my heart today, but its not really all that unusual. Every day birth mothers show this same kind of love when they choose to place their child for adoption. They are not thinking about their own feelings but what is best for their child. Yet, in this country especially, these women are made to feel like they are worthless because they have made this decision. I pray that we who call ourselves Christ's followers will see the sacrifice that these women make and applaud them.

Blessings,
Melissa

Feeling Low

I am feeling very low today.

I have been following a blog of a couple that live fairly close to me who are adopting from Ghana. They posted today that they are flying to Ghana today to go to court and officially adopt their 2 new sons, even though there is a suspension going on and they are using an agency that is NOT officially licensed by the Ghanaian government.

I know God's timing and His plans are perfect, but I am feeling VERY frustrated today.

When is it my turn, God?????????

Blessings,
Melissa

Waiting For God

Our agency is working with the Children's Minister to try to reverse the adoption suspension. Our home study is complete, but because our social worker has taken almost a year to complete it, we have to update our fingerprints and our medical forms. This should take about a month.

Because of the suspension, we have been exploring what our options are. We could change countries with our agency fairly easily, but the countries that we qualify for are not ones that we are interested in. We could change to a domestic infant adoption. We have tried that before and waited 2 and 1/2 years and were never chosen by a birth mom. Or we could take our home study and go to a different agency. Last week was a very bad week for me. Looking at all of our options and not being happy with any of them. I was feeling overwhelmed and hopeless. David came home from work and said that he had a very strong, undeniable feeling from God that we should stay the course we are on. We are going to update our home study which will take a month and then decide what we should do after that. So we are continuing our fundraising efforts. I am asking for continued prayer as we wait for God to tell us our next move.

Blessings,
Melissa

Yet Another Setback!

We got an email from our agency, Bethany today. The US state dept. says that ALL intercountry adoptions from Ghana are suspended until further notice. I am devastated. We finally have our home study completed after almost a year and now this happens. It seems like we take one step forward and take 2 back. I have no idea what to do now. If anyone is reading this, please, PLEASE pray for us.

Blessings,
Melissa

Discouraged

As our home study is FINALLY nearing completion, it is dawning on me the enormity of the fees that we still owe for this adoption. With Desi's accident and other unexpected expenses lately, we just don't have it. I am feeling overwhemled.

I have just finished reading KISES FROM KATIE by Katie Davis. (Great book by the way!) Through the entire book she talks about how she relies totally on God's provision for herself and her ministry and how He ALWAYS provides. I wish I had that kind of faith. My heart is telling me that God has called me to do this and He will provide, but my head wants to know EXACTLY when and how we will come up with this money. I am scared. God's word tells us 365 times do not fear. Easier said than done.

I ask for prayer. Not just for the money that we need, but also to strengthen my faith.

Blessings,
Melissa

A typical day at our house

This is the beautiful scene I see outside my front window.



We have begun formally home schooling Desiree. This is her working on some of her school work. She loves it so far.



Our youngest son, Brandon, working hard on his school work. He is in 8th grade now. He will start High School work in the fall. He is growing up way too fast!

Can't wait til we have our Ghanaian child to take pictures of.

Blessings,

Melissa

Tradtitional Roles

They are called traditional roles for a reason. Because it works! If it didn't work it wouldn't have lasted long enough to be a tradition. I am proud to say I am a submissive wife. My husband is the head of our home, but that doesn't mean I am his doormat and he isn't a dictaitor. Men and women are different. We have different roles to fill in a marriage. That's the way God made us.

 

http://www.theblaze.com/stories/2013/04/14/former-volleyball-star-model-gabrielle-reece-ignites-controversy-with-marriage-advice-being-submissive-is-a-sign-of-strength/

 

Blessings,

Melissa

Poem

http://www.littlewondersfindhomes.webs.com/

This is a pretty cool poem. Click the link above and read it.

My heart aches for the older kids waiting to be adopted.

Blessings,
Melissa

A video I love!

I love this song!!!!!!!!!!!
It is Kings and Queens by Audio Adrenaline.
It talks about adoption. About how we were loved and adopted by God and we should show the same love "to the least of these."
The video is set in Haiti where the band is supporting an orphanage. The kids are so beautiful!
LOVE, LOVE,LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Blessings,
Melissa

Another Conversation with Desiree

Desiree and I had our first conversation about why she lives with Mimi and Poppy instead of Momma.
There is a picture in my bedroom of myself,Tina, Nonnie(my mother) and Desiree which was taken while she was still in the hospital. Desiree was looking at this picture tonight and said, "When I was a tiny baby I lived with Momma and Nonnie, right?"
I said,"Yes, when you were a tiny baby you lived with Momma and Nonnie. Momma loved you and took care of you, but one day she said that she couldn't take care of you any more. She asked Mimi if she would take care of you. Mimi said she would gladly take care of you. And you have lived with Mimi and Poppy ever since." Desiree smiled. She seemed quite pleased with this explanation.

I hadn't expected to have this conversation with her when she was this young,(she's only 3) but I think she is noticing other families. She sees that other kids live with Mommas and Daddys, but she doesn't.

Last night we were reading a book called Are You My Mother? by Dr Suess. It is about a baby bird that hatches while it's mother is away from the nest, so the baby bird goes searching for her. On his journey he finds different animals and asks them if they are his mother. After the story Desiree looked me in the eyes and said, "You're my mother. Aren't you Mimi."
I was a little taken aback, but I answered ," Yes, I am the one who loves and cares for you so I am like your mother."

This is all new to me. I hope I am giving good answers to her. If anyone is reading this and has adopted, how did you discuss your child's adoption with them?( Even though Desiree is not really adopted.)


Blessings,
Melissa

HAPPY EASTER

Today we celebrate the resurrection of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

Hallehlujah! He is risen!!!!!!!!!!!

I thank the Lord for the sacrifice He willingly made on my behalf, and not just mine but all of humanity's.
Thank you Lord for providing a way for a sinner like me to be reconciled to you.

John 3:16, For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son. That whosoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life.

If you have not accepted Jesus' offer of salvation, I urge you to do so today.

Blessings,
Melissa

Eventful Week

We have had an eventful week here in our family.
Our oldest son,Josh, started his first job on Wednesday. He is working at a plant nursery in our town. It is alot of physical work, and he loves it. The same day was exactly a month since Desiree's accident. While at the hospital, the doctors told us to keep her off her leg for a month, but then she could start walking again. So Wednesday morning I let her decide if she wanted to try to walk. She was afraid at first, but once she realized that she could do it without pain she was excited.
She has no strength in her right leg from not using it for the past month. She was very wobbly on her legs and I had to hold her hand, but she walked from her room to the living room. We borrowed a walker from a friend who has a handicapped child. Now Desiree walks all over the place. She is quickly gaining strength. Hopefully it won't be long til she can walk without any assistance at all.

As I mentioned in a previous post, we were being investigated by DFACS. We recieved a letter today saying that the case is closed. All allegations were found to be unsubstantiated. We were cleared. Thank you Lord!

Our homestudy for Ghana has been put on hold during the investigation. Hopefully, now we can continue the process.

Blessings,
Melissa

Bad News

We have some bad news. Our granddaughter Desiree, broke her right femur last Wednesday night.

It was around 6:30 in the evening and we were getting ready for church. I had gotten Desiree dressed and was in my bathroom getting ready when I heard a loud crash and Desiree screamimg. When I ran into the living room, I saw David holding her. He said the TV had fallen on her. He handed her to me and when he did, I saw her thigh bend. I immediately knew that it was broken. I yelled to David that it was broken and we needed to take her to the hospital.
We jumped in the car and sped off to our local ER. On the ride to the ER, Desiree was passing out over and over again from the pain. When we got to the ER, they gave her morphine right away and took x-rays. The break was VERY bad and we were transferred to a children's hospital in a nearby town by ambulance. When we got to the hospital, they took more x-rays and gave her more morphine. After the x-rays, the doctors decided to straighten her leg. I had to leave the room because I was afraid that I would faint if I stayed. They gave her more morphine and when I left they physically straightened her leg. Afterwards I was allowed to come back and see her. She was sooooo upset. She had a red face with tears flowing down her cheeks. As soon as she saw me she grabbed my hand and wouldn't let me go. We were told that she will need surgery to correct the break but she wouldn't be able to have it until the next day. So we were put in a room for the night. It was an awful night! She only slept 2 hours. The rest of the night she was crying in pain. They repeatedly gave her morphine and valium but she would still wake up screaming in pain.
We didn't get into surgery until noon the next day. The doctors put 2 flexible rods in her leg to keep the bone pieces together so they can heal. But after surgery she was much better; no more pain.
We came home on Friday. She is doing very well. She is surprising everyone with how well she is doing.

When we went to the first ER, they called the Department of Family and Children Services aka DFACS.
They said that any fracture to the femur is considered a traumatic injury because it takes so much force to break that bone and any trauma to a child has to be reported to DFACS. We were told that the investigation will take up to 30 days. We had a visit from a social worker today to interview everyone in the home and just check out the house. She said that in her opinion it is an open and shut case; and accident but because they were called they have to complete an investigation. In the mean time, our adoption is put on hold. They can not move forward until the investigation is completed.

Another delay! Here we go again!

This is a picture of Desiree in the hospital just before she was released to go home.

Blessings,

Melissa

A Conversation with Desiree

Desiree saw me reading the newest Lifeline magazine; a quarterly magazine our adoption agency, Bethany, sends to it's clients. She asked what I was reading. I told her it was a magazine about adoption. She asked, "What's adoption?"
I said that  many boys and girls don't have a mommy and a daddy or a mimi and poppy to take care of them and love them, so they need a new mommy and daddy. And that is adoption when kids who don't have parents come to live with new parents. I said, " We are going to adopt a new kid. They will come to live with us." At this she got VERY excited, jumping up and down.
"They gonna live in us house?" she asked.
"Yes." I said.
"Where they gonna sleep?"
"Well if it's a girl she will share your room, but if it's a boy he will share Brandon's room. But I think it's going to be a boy."
"Can he play tea party with me?" She loves to play  tea party. Everyone in the family has been corraled into playing with her at least once.
"Yes." I said. She squealed with delight.
She said, " A boy like Weston?'" He is one of her cousins. "He has white skin."
"No," I said,"he will have dark skin like Caroline." She is the daughter of some friends of ours. I said," They will come from a country called Ghana. Can you say Ghana?" Which she did. "That's in Africa and it's far, far away."
"Who will bring them home?"
"Poppy and I will go to Ghana and bring them home."
"Can I come?"
" No honey. It's too far away." I said. Then she started crying.
" But I wanna go with you  to Africa and get our new kid." she said sobbing.
I gave her a hug and told her that it was still a long time away and we would have to wait and see.

We have talked with her before about adoption but I guess we have to keep discussing it, especially as we progress in the process. Hopefully we will have a picture to show her before too much longer. I think that will make it much more concrete for her.

Blessings,
Melissa

Getting Closer

We are getting closer to our home study being finished( finally). When it is finished we can send it, our medical forms and our formal application to Ghana and they will begin the search for our child. Or if we choose a child from the waiting list, we can be officially matched with them while we finish the rest of our dossier.

This makes Ghana a little different then most other countries. Most countries require you to finish ALL paperwork before you can be matched with a child.

It's exciting to think that we MIGHT be very close to seeing our child. But might is a big word. Things can still go wrong. We also still have to come up with the rest of the money we need to complete this adoption. I am trying to stay positive and remember that if God called us to do this that He will provide the means.

We are thinking about joining a new home school group. Our current group is all white and our new child will be African, so we want him/her to be around other children of color. I also think it will be good for our white children to be around people who don't necessarily look like them. We have been told about a group that has several families that have adopted transracially as well as internationally. Looking forward to meeting these families, hearing their stories and learning from their experiences.

Blessings,
Melissa

I was recognized!

Back in November I mentioned that our story was going to be in the local newspaper. Well it did indeed appear in the paper. Yesterday while we were at a local restaurant, I was recognized. Ha!
As I was walking back to our table after taking Desiree to the bathroom, a waitress stopped me and asked how our adoption was going. For just a second, I wondered how she knew. Then it hit me. She read about us in the paper. It was a wierd feeling knowing that strangers know about us. But it was also comforting to know that people care. I wonder how many peolpe have read about us. I wonder how many people care.
Hmmmmm.......

Blessings,
Melissa