News On Nathaniel

I got a call from our agency last week. The orphanage had to move because it could no longer afford the rent($2,500 US dollars). It was a nice place in a nice place in a nice neighborhood. The new place is just awful! It is in bad neighborhood. It's too small. There is no security, not even a fence so the kids can't go outside to play. Some of the babies have been very sick. One has died. Thankfully, Nathaniel is healthy. The orphanage is out of money. They have asked the parents to please send at least $200 a month for the children's care. This is tough for us. We had to take out a loan last year to pay for the orphanage fees that were supposed to be used for his care. Plus our 15 year old van died on us in June and we had to buy a new one. So between these and all our other bills finding an extra $200 a month will be hard. That is the reason we thought about giving up. But we love this little boy. In our hearts he is our son. We have rearranged our budget and tightened our belts so we can do it. Also our agency is looking for a new lawyer which means more money. The old one has the connections needed but not the experience or knowledge for international adoption. According to the DRC liason for our agency and the orphanage the new lawyer knows international adoption much better. So hopefully, things will speed up. But even if we do get through court and legally adopt Nathaniel, there is still the issue of the exit permit suspension in DRC.So your prayers are still needed. So as you can see, we need some money. A wonderfully sweet woman I met on FaceBook agreed to do an online Tupperware fundraiser for us. If you would like to help, please click on the linand shop away. http://order.tupperware.com/pls/htprod_www/!twx$eparty_ctl.p_guest_welcome?pv_eparty=2178a2e22c33eadd7190aa7ceb08476b

Blessings,
Melissa

Not So Fast....

My last post stated that it would be my last post. Well, it's not. David and I had a loooong talk and we both agreed that we made a committment to this little boy and we are going to try our best to see it through. I will admit that this has been a painful time for me. VERY PAINFUL! And yes, I have even questioned my faith in God. Why would He let me get so close just to snatch it away? I don't know, but as a friend recently told me, our thoughts are NOT His thoughts. His ways are higher than ours. I have to trust Him. And that is the hard part of this thing we call Faith. Trusting that someone you can't see knows what is better for you. Even when it's not what you want. Even when it hurts. So we are continuing with our adoption. Even though we literally don't know if Nathaniel will EVER come home. But we can't give up on him because God hasn't given up on us. Blessing, Melissa

Good-Bye

This will be my last blog entry. Our 8 year adoption journey has come to an end and the only thing we have to show for it is thousands of dollares in debt. The suspesion in DRC could last a few more months or a few more years, either way we cannot afford to complete this adoption. It breaks my heart to know that the little boy I have come to love will never come home. It seems so unfair that there are 150 million orphans in this world and even though I am willing I can't have even one of them for my own. I will continue to pray for Nathaniel everyday. I pray that God will bring him a forever family to love and cherish him. Blessings, Melissa

Ebola

I saw a news article today that stated Ebola is now in DRC. There are 2 confirmed deaths from the disease and 13 other suspected cases but are not comfirmed as Ebola yet. Please pray for Nathaniel and all of the other vulnerable children in DRC. Blessings, Melissa

One year ago

One year ago today we got our referral for Nathaniel. We were so happy and excited to finally see the face of the child who would be our child. A year has come and gone. We have several pictures of him from this past year. We have watched him grow, but we are no closer to having him here with us than we were a year ago. We can't get a straight answer from our agency about what the hold up is.  I know all about the exit visa problem, but that has not affected the adoption process itself. As far as I know our case has not even been filed in court yet. I am beginning to think we have been scammed by someone, either the agency or the lawyer or the orphanage. I don't know if we will ever be able to bring Nathaniel home. And if we can't then I am done with adoption. This is a hard dream to let go, though.

Blessings,
Melissa

Worn

This song expresses exactly how I have been feeling lately. It is called WORN by Tenth Avenue North.

Blessings,

Melissa

 

Exit Permits

We got an email from our agency yesterday. Sixty two families, 15 from the US, will be recieving their exit permits to bring their children home soon. But that's all. No one else will be given an exit permit until DRC has written, passed, and implemented their new adoption laws. There is no timeline on this. It could take months or years. Also these new laws could be retroactive which means that families that have already completed their adoptions and are just waiting for their exit permits could have their adoptions overturned because they don't meet the new laws requirements. It doesn't seem fair to me to change the rules when you are approaching the finish line. But I am not the one in power and DRC doesn't really care about adoptive parents rights or feelings. I am so discouraged and depressed today. We have been on this adoption journey for over 8 years and we keep getting doors slammed in our face. I am tired. If we are not able to adopt Nathaniel, for whatever reason, then I am done with adoption. I am not being dramatic or emotional. I am just tired, emotionally and physically, of the whole process. Obviously adoption was not meant for us. It's a hard dream to let go of, but it is becoming more and more clear that I may not have a choice. Everyone keeps telling me to hold on and don't give up hope, but I don't know that I have any hope left to hold onto. Blessins, Melissa

Mimi, we need another girl.

This morning at breakfast, Desiree said"Mimi, we have alot of boys in our family. We need another girl." I told her to tell Poppy so she did. He said,"How would we get another girl?" And Desiree's reply was," We can tell everybody that if they have a baby girl that they can't keep that we will take it." I told her we should pray and ask God if He will send us another girl for our family. Little did she know, but I have been praying for just that very thing for awhile now. I would love to adopt one more time. A girl for Desiree and I would want her to be a girl of color so Nathaniel would not be the only person in our family that doesn't look like us. Pray for God's Will to be revealed. Blessings, Melissa

Tough Week

It has been a rough week for us. I went to my doctor for some knee pain. Found out I have arthritis in my right knee. I went to the dentist on Tuesday with a tooth ache. Found out I have an infection in my tooth and it needs to be removed. Yesterday my son Brandon smashed his finger in the back door. Luckily it is not broken just swollen and painful. Still it could be worse. I am thankful that I can walk even with arthritis. Many people can't. I am very thankful for modern dentistry. A hundred years ago I may have died from an infection. And of course I am thankful Brandon did not break his finger. Counting my blessings this week. Blessings, Melissa

Another Bad Day

I am feeling very discouraged today. I just have this terrible sense of dread that Nathaniel will never come home. DRC is dragging their feet and there is nothing I can do to get the legal process moving. Meanwhile Nathaniel just keeps getting older and older. Who knows what is happening to him in that orphanage. I want him home where I can make sure he is safe. Where I can hold him and love on him. I can't seem to stop crying today. We have been trying to adopt now for 8 years. This is the closest we have ever gotten to actually getting a child. But all we have are pictures of him. It seems like it will never really happen. Maybe we were wrong and this isn't God's plan for us. Maybe everyone who warned us against adopting were right. We have his room all prepared for him. The crib is set up. I bought a Winnie the Pooh sheet set for it. I have the walls decorated with pictures of Winnie the Pooh. I have a rocking chair next to his bed. I had dreams of rocking him at night. The room is beautiful but it is missing the most important item; my beautiful baby boy Nathaniel. Blessings, Melissa

Resurrection Day

Today is Resurrection Day, the day we celebrate that our Lord is risen. So happy Resurrection Day. He is risen. Hallelujah, He is risen indeed. Blessings, Melissa

Maundy Thursday

Today is Maundy Thursday when we comemorate Jesus and His disciples eating the Passover meal. The former pastor of our church would have a Maundy Thursday service every year, but our new pastor does not. So, we decided to have our own celebration at home with our family. My dear husband, the head of our home and the priest of our family, presided over our service. He first read Luke's account of the Lord's Last Supper, then he prayed for us, and then he served us crackers and grape juice. It was beautiful. I think if we make this an annual event I would like to light some candles and sing a couple of hymns.
The point of doing this was to remember our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ and to teach our children about His death, burial and resurrection. Brandon knows and understands what Jesus did for us, and we have been trying to teach Desiree. We want her to understand what a solemn but at the same time joyous celebration Easter really is.
After our little service, we had a fun family night. We played Uno. It was Desiree's first time playing. She is old enough to know her colors and numbers so she could actually play. And she had a blast!!
I hope you have a wonderful Easter celebration and remember the sacrifice Jesus made for us.
Blessings,
Melissa

Desi's schoolwork this week.

Since it is Passion week, we are learning about Jesus' trial, crucifixion, death, burial, and resurrection. We are trying to teach Desiree that Jesus is what Easter is all about, not a fictional bunny.

Blessings,

Melissa

Peaceful Day

Desiree LOVES to spend time with Brandon. Whenever he is in his room, she will politely ask if she can come in too. While he is reading, writing a story, or listening to music, she will quietly sit and play with his cars or Legos. She doesn't ask him to join her. She is content simply to be in the room with him. As a mom it blesses my heart to see them enjoying each others company. Especially since at the ages of 4 and 14 they don't have very much in common. One afternoon this lasted for 3 blissful hours. No arguing. No yelling. No crying. They are in Brandon's room right now. He is writing a story on his computer and Desiree is playing house with some of his cars. "The big ones are the parents and the little ones are the babies," she tells me. I love these quiet, peaceful days when they are showing love to each other because I know that all too soon these days will be gone. Brandon is 14. In just a few short years he will be all grown up and leaving home. I hope Desiree makes lots of memories of these calm, peaceful days and always remembers the love they have for each other. Blessings, Melissa

New Pictures

We FINALLY got new pictures of Nathaniel. He is just over a year old. Still no news on when he will be coming home.

Blessings,
Melissa

A Rant

OK people time for me to rant. I have been reading alot lately that some people want to end ALL international adoptions. ALL. Their reasoning is that a child loses it's birth culture and a country committs social genocide through international adoption. First of all, only 1% of all international orphanes ever get adopted, domestically or internationally. And second, is it better for a child to grow up in an institution only to age out with no support system, no family? Statistics show that most of these children resort to prostitution(male and female) or some other crime to get money to live. And they often abuse drugs and alcohol to numb their pain. And some children with medical special needs often move from an institution for children to an adult institution and stay there for the rest of their lives. Yes, it is true a child may lose their birth culture through international adoption, but they gain a FAMILY! God's plan is for children to grow up in families, not institutions. Another argument is that most of the children available for international adoption are special needs kids and most adoptive families want healthy babies. Not true! People who choose international adoption know what children are available and still willingly choose it.And "special needs" can mean many different things. When we were trying to adopt from Ghana, we were interested in a 12 year old boy whose only special need was that he was a 12 year old boy! But Ghana stopped all international adoption. So what happens to that boy when he ages out of the orphanage at 16? Even Nathaniel was considered special needs because he is a boy. I cannot bear to think what would happen if we couldn't adopt him. Yes, it is best for children to remain in thier birth families and countries if possible, but because we live in a fallen, imperfect world it is NOT always possible or what is best for the child and adoption is a GOOD alternative.

Blessings,

Melissa

Very Sad News

We have had some very sad news. David's mother Virginia passed away last night. She had been in the hospital for a week and we knew the end was near. Still it is a hard thing to loose a beloved mother, mother-in-law, grandmother, and great grandmother. She will be sorely missed, but we have the assurance that she is now in Glory with Jesus. She no longer is in any pain.

My heart breaks to see the pain my husband and children are going through. I wish I could make it all better for them, but unfortunately I can't. I am also sad because Nathaniel will never know his sweet grandma. She was looking forward to meeting him.

The house seems very quiet and still tonight. It will be hard to get used to not having her here. We have kept her bedroom door closed today because it is just too hard to not see her sitting in her chair drinking her coffee and reading her book.

We are trying to remember that although we are sad, she is rejoicing because she is with her Saviour.

Blessings,
Melissa