Another Bad Day

I am feeling very discouraged today. I just have this terrible sense of dread that Nathaniel will never come home. DRC is dragging their feet and there is nothing I can do to get the legal process moving. Meanwhile Nathaniel just keeps getting older and older. Who knows what is happening to him in that orphanage. I want him home where I can make sure he is safe. Where I can hold him and love on him. I can't seem to stop crying today. We have been trying to adopt now for 8 years. This is the closest we have ever gotten to actually getting a child. But all we have are pictures of him. It seems like it will never really happen. Maybe we were wrong and this isn't God's plan for us. Maybe everyone who warned us against adopting were right. We have his room all prepared for him. The crib is set up. I bought a Winnie the Pooh sheet set for it. I have the walls decorated with pictures of Winnie the Pooh. I have a rocking chair next to his bed. I had dreams of rocking him at night. The room is beautiful but it is missing the most important item; my beautiful baby boy Nathaniel. Blessings, Melissa